I Can, You Can't: A Gundam Wing Musical!
by Sita Seraph
Summary: Based on the song, 'Anything You Can Do' by the play, Annie Get Your Gun. Download the song before reading. Humor, little plot, and just plain strange.


*cackles, coughs, gags, sputters, dies*

Title: I Can, You Can't: A Gundam Wing Musical!

Author: Sita Seraph

Genre: Musical

Pairing: 1x2

Rated: PG-13

Warning: None

Song: I Can Do Anything by 'Annie Get Your Gun'

Note: When you see things like this: 'I-can-do' it just means the notes are cut short with the music.

When this happens: 'I-I-I', Duo is really just holding the note out.  I thought it would be better than 'IIIII'

BIG NOTE: Download this song 'Anything You Can Do' before reading this!  Or you'll be horribly embarrassed and delete it!…

Or, that's what I'd do…

Duo glared haughtily at a man with messy hair across the room.  He was eating the cap of his pen idly, actually taking not much notice of the item swishing and clinking between his teeth.  The man that was seated across the Preventers office kept returning the proud glare to the funny American, only glancing at what he was typing on the computer once and awhile.  The two rivals slash lovers once again had another fight that morning with coffee machine at home.

----

"I can do it, Heero!"

"Just let me do it…"

"Touch. It. And. Die."

"Move out of the way, Duo!"

"I CAN DO IT!"

"NO YOU CAN'T!"

"I CAN!"

"CAN'T!"

"CAAAANNNN!!!"

"CAN'T! CAN'T! CAN'T!"

----

Sure, they acted like spoiled brats when they fought each other, but what would you expect from teenagers that spent all their time together and be going out at the same time?  You have the typical young love.  So Duo not only had been glaring at Heero from the moment he sat down at his desk, but the other young youth had also been returning the heated glances (and anybody who got in line of eye contact got singed).  Someone had to apologize but Duo certainly wasn't going to be the one to do it.  He had too much pride.  And – Duo snorted at this -  Heero never apologized EVER.  It was either a warning glance before he pounced…and…yeah…you know what comes next.

So, Duo thought, he can be an asshole all he wants.  I'm never talking to him until he says he's sorry for yelling at me.

Heero suddenly stood up from across the room and started collecting numerous documents.  His lips were a little tight, because he knew he had to pass Duo before he could get to the copy machine and Une's office.  Sighing in defeat, he clutched some documents under his arms and the others against his chest.  He waddled between the enclosed desks, dodging or waiting for people to pass before continuing on his way, eyes arrogantly straight ahead.

Duo watched him wearily, continuing his mantra of not speaking to Heero when he passed.  But just as he almost got by without a single word from the once-cheerful youth, Duo opened his big mouth without thinking.

"I could have done it."

Heero sighed, eyes rolling upwards, and stopping.  "No, you couldn't."

Duo twirled around in his chair, eyes abright with fire again.  "Yes.  I.  Could!"

Heero turned around.  "You didn't even know where the problem was!"

"Yes, I did!"

"Didn't!

"Did!"

"DIDN'T!"

"DID!"

By then, the bustle of the office had grown to a halt and every present head was turned to the young lovers in the middle of the room.  Most of them looked amused, while a selected few that didn't have their coffee this morning glared at the ex-pilots for, yet again, disturbing the peace with their love lives.  Though it was questionable why they didn't return to their work if they were being so irritated by the scene, but we may never know.  The two lovers stopped yelling at each other but continued to glare at one another and getting into each other's personal bubble space, unaffected by the crowd around them.  They were use to making a scene and being the center of attention as they sprouted out information of their personal love life.  Duo started taking deep, calming breaths through his nostrils, trying to wave aside the fury gurgling at the surface.

"ANYTHING you can do, HEERO, _I_ can do better," Duo hissed.  Heero's eyes grew aflame.

Then, somewhere in the background, began a soft tune of flutes.

"HAH!" Heero laughed tauntily, with a loud bang of trumpets.

"I can do anything bet-ter than you!" Duo sung softly, full of confidence and arrogance.

"No, you can't," Heero scuffed, singing his words as well.

"Yes, I can," Duo bragged silkily, blowing on his nails coolly.

"No, you cant!" Heero said more angrily.

"Yes, I can, Yes, I can!" Duo sung confidently, signaling the music to begin playing.  Heero grinned evilly at his partner, inching towards him.

"Anything you can be, I can be greater,

Soon-er or lat-er, I'm greater than you!" Heero replied with his own confidence, puncturing Duo's chest with his finger on 'sooner and later'.  Duo's own pride faltered for a minute, being replaced by the pouting and anger.

"No, you're not," Duo sulked, bowing his head but not daring to leave his gaze from Heero.

"Yes, I am!" Heero singingly laughed.

"No, you're not," Duo pouted and sunk farther against Heero's height.

"Yes, I am!" Heero sung, fully confident and proud, triggering Duo's fury again.  The braided Preventer stood straight again, fists up.

"No, you're not!"

"Yes, I am, Yes, I am!" Heero sung louder then continued.

"I can shoot a partridge,

with a sing-le cartridge."

"I can shoot a sparrow,

with a bow and arrow!" Duo challenged back, beautiful voice carrying over Heero's last note and pretended to shoot a arrow straight into Heero's heart.  The youth's eyes hardened.

"I-can-live-on-bread-and-cheese," Heero sung.

"And only on that?" Duo grinned.

"Yep!" Heero replied, confidence returning.

"So can a rat," Duo mumbled with a sweet note, triggering Heero into his next verse.

"Any note you can reach,

I can go higher," Heero sung, chest buffing up.

"I can sing anything,

higher than you," Duo sung, accepting the challenge with full-fledged confidence.

"No, you can't," Heero tried to go higher, but his voice didn't seem to reach a different note.

"Yes, I can!" Duo's voice, though, easily reached the next scale, arms crossing mockingly.

"No, you can't!" Heero sung, going a bit higher but far below from Duo's last note.

"Yes, I caaaan," Duo's voice breathed higher, running his knuckles over his throat then unfolding his hand, fingers directed to Heero to have one last try.

"No, you caaan't!" Heero strained, just barely reaching Duo's last hanging tone.

"Yes… I-I-I-I-I CAAAAAANNNN," Duo sung, reaching up his vocal strings to sound just like a opera singer.  Heero seemed a little off-balance at this, even the music stopping for a minute to wonder how the hell that happened.

Heero blinked at Duo, whose cheeks were a little flushed at the dumbfounded stares he was getting surrounded with, before saying normally, "How do you sing that high?"

"I dunno," Duo answered innocently, shrugging his shoulders.

Heero mimicked his lover and the music started up again.

"Anything you can say,

I can say softer," Heero grinned, singing again.

"I can say anything,

softer than you," Duo accepted, not knowing exactly of the trap he was stepping into.

"No, you can't," Heero sung, already at a whisper.

"Yes, I can," Duo sung louder, eyes bugging out at the effort to make his booming voice box tinier.

"No, you can't," Heero whispered much softer, making people of the office move in unison to hear what was happening.

"Yes, I can," Duo tried, pouty lip unfolding at the difficult task.

"No, you can't," Heero whispered again, words barely leaving his lips.

"Yes, I can," Duo mumbled with a squeak, head downcast and the room still able to clearly hear him.  And then like a volcano, Duo burst, "YES, I CAAAAN!"

Heero's grin and confidence grew, Duo glaring daggers in his direction and taking ahold of the song.

"I can drink my liquor,

faster than a flicker," Duo taunted, straightening up with pride.  Heero scuffed.

"I can drink it quicker,

and get even SICKER!"  Duo's pride started deflating, before coming up with another idea.

"I-can-open-ANY-safe!" Duo sung, confidence mounting faster than a man to his horse.

"Without being caught?" Heero grinned, arms crossing now with taunt.

"You bet!"

"That's what I thought – You CROOK!"

Duo hissed and kicked Heero in the shins.  The boy had enough sense to bounce away, but his grin never faded.

"Any note you can hold,

I can hold longer," Heero sung, rubbing his abused leg.

"I can hold any note,

longer than you," Duo's eyes flashed with vengeance, an evil smirk appearing on his face.

"No, you can't," Heero scuffed, non-believing.

"Yes, I can," Duo replied, holding his last word a tiny bit longer.

"No, you can't," Heero returned with the same short note.

"Yes, I can."

"No yooooouuuu cannnnn'ttt," Heero started prolonging the notes but Duo jumped right in to sing in with him.

"Yes, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I caaannnn," Duo sung his next verse until Heero's short breath gave out and stopped with him.  He gave him a cheeky grin before continuing.

"Yes, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-."

Everybody turned his or her heads to stare; the soft beat of the music gently playing with Duo's voice.

"-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-."

Heero blinked, watching Duo's light voice continue.

"-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-."

At sometime, the music stopped playing, letting Duo take over.  Heero slowly covered his ears.

"-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-."

Duo got right into Heero's face, voice not even flattering for a second.

"-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-."

Duo started tilting his head back and forth mockingly, mouth open to catch a fly.  Heero's eyes began to cross.

"-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-," Duo sung then closed it up with his last fledged breath with a squeaky 'can!'

Heero took a second to blink and slowly removed his hands. The music started up again with Heero's voice.  "Yes, you caaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!"

Duo looked happy over the short breather with the music, until Heero asked, "Where do you keep all that air?"

Duo snorted.  Heero groaned, holding his ears again.

"Anything you can say,

I can say faster," Heero challenged, singing again.

"I can say anything,

faster than you," Duo countered.

"No, you can't," Heero sung, a little bit faster.

"Yes, I can," Duo sung, a bit faster than Heero.

"No, you can't!" Heero hastily replied.

"Yes, I can!"

"Noyoucan't!"

"YesIcan!"

"No-."

"Yes-."

"-you-."

"-I-."

"-can't-."

"-can."

People of the office groaned and smacked their foreheads as the lovers meshed their words together in fast symbols, twirling around in their chairs from hitting themselves too hard.

"I can jump a hurdle," Heero continued.

"I can wear a girdle," Duo sung confidently, chest buffing.

"I can knit a sweater," Heero sungingly confessed.  Duo gave him a weird look.

"I can fill it better!"

"I-can-do-most-anything!"

"Can you bake a pie?" Duo asked, challenging.

"No…"

"Neither can I…"

A plock from the music.

Heero stared quizzically at his American, determined to win this war with his lover.  Slowly, he began to grin.

"Anything you can sing,

I can sing sweeter," Heero sung, his plan rising to capture.

"I can sing anything,

sweeter than you." Duo was caught.

The music took a softer tune, with a romantic twist.  "Nooo, yooou caaan't," Heero sung softly, nearing his beautiful mate.  Duo didn't seem to notice.

"Yes, I c-A-A-A-n," the braided prey sung, shaking his A's and closing his eyes.

"No, you caaA-A-aan't," Heero stepped right up to his mate, just as Duo opened his eyes, and getting an eyeful of deep blue.  Heero started pushing both of them towards the desk, and the corner young man looked behind him fearfully.

"Yes I-," Duo started to reply back with a note, before Heero groped his butt and turning his 'I' more squeaky. "-caaaannnn…"

"Nooo, you caaan't," Heero sung lowly, pressing his lover against the wood.  Duo's eyes grew a little bit hazy.

"Yesss I-I-I caaan," Duo replied beautifully, falling a little bit backwards with Heero's insistence.  Heero grew closer.

"Nooo, you caaan't," Heero smiled handsomely, convincing his lover to give in.

"Ohhh," Duo carried a soft moan/note as he stroked Heero's cheek, "Yesss I-I-I caannnn."  Duo closed his eyes to receive a kiss when suddenly the music changed, and Heero's voice.

"No, you CAN'T, CAN'T, CAN'T!" Heero emphasized, Duo's eyes opening as Heero's head stroked lower and lower on each 'can't' until Duo's head was against the wood.  Wide violet eyes narrowed in response.

"Yes, I CAN, CAN, CAN!" Duo sung roughly, raising his head on each 'can' making Heero straighten for him to sit up on the desk.  Then suddenly, both of their faces softened and together they sung.

"Yeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn't…!"

On the dying note that filled the room, their lips clashed together, Duo's arms throwing themselves around Heero's neck.

"CUT!"

Duo and Heero broke away automatically and looked over to watch as their director of 'I Can, You Can't: The Musical' came on stage with her script in hand.

"Duo, Duo, your character needs to have his head tossed back on that last part," the director complained, looking a little drained from the long musical session.

"Oh yeah," Duo said, leaning back on his hands.  "Sorry 'bout that, Sit."

"Sita," the director automatically corrected then turned to Heero.  "You're getting better, but I need you to clash against Duo more roughly, okay?  Just, um, throw yourselves at each other, okay?"

"Uh huh," Heero sighed.  "So, do we have to do this ALL over again?"

"Hell no!"  Sita said, eyes wide.  "Do I look like I have the energy anymore after finally getting you guys to stop giggling through this scene and get into character?"

Duo grinned.  "From the top then?"

"Yep," Sita said, snapped her fingers, and turned around.  "Okay, everybody, places please!"

Owari! 

*twitches*


End file.
